By the way

I would like to apologize to the person I wrote that awful 'letter' to in my blog. I realize there is no use hating someone, so I went ahead and decided to be the better person and apologize to them myself. I thought that things wouldn't get any better if I didn't take a step up and do something. I know I said I wouldn't apologize to them first because nothing was my fault. But, I came to realize that there was some sort of my own fault all along. I realized that even though I hadn't tried to take their own friend away, I sort of was for a while. I know how much I hate when I get ditched and ignored by someone so they can hang out and spend all their time with someone else who hasn't been their friend for nearly as long. So for that I am sincerely sorry. I finally came to see that even though I never really intended to do anything, I sort of was doing something all along.
I don't know exactly how well of terms with this person. It's all up to them. I never asked to be best friends at all, but I want to be on good terms since we have many of the same friends who dislike seeing us hate each other. If we could just be friends and get along, I'm fine. I feel like we are better though. There haven't been any rude texts or anything lately, and I'm happy about that. Yesterday we actually spoke the first actual kind words to each other in over a year.
So, for that rude blog, I do apologize to them, but I was mad and I felt like there really wasn't any better way to let my feelings out than through a blog.

Tell me why

Over the last few days I've been feeling a mixture of happiness and sadness. Something good happens, then something bad happens.
In the last few days I have made plans twice, both were canceled. Got asked out by the guy I liked, then dumped two hours later. And felt really close to my best friend, then remembered how distant we are from each other.

I don't see why all this keeps happening to me. Why can't I just get something I want and keep it? I feel like after anything good happens, as soon as I turn my back, it's going to disappear. I hate feeling like I'm never going to get what I want.
Then I get something I want, having wanting it for so long, then it's ripped away from me.

I just want everything to go MY way for once. I feel like I never get a time for everything in my life to just go right. I think I'm now afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens.

Go away.

This is going to be one serious rant for someone. If you can't handle it, just move away.

Dear, -------
OKAY. I hate you.
Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you.
Got that?
Go away. Please. Get out of my life. Go away. I don't care about you. If you aren't going to leave, then leave me the hell alone. I don't want to hear from you ever. I want you to stay as far away from me as possible. I never want to hear your name again. I never did anything to you. You're just too jealous for your own good. Here's a lesson:
Jealousy is a mother fucking bitch.
I'd learn that lesson now before you ruin everything. I've seen how it's upset your own friends. Your friends. Who are MY friends. If we aren't going to be friends, the least you could do it leave me alone.
Don't try to talk to me. All you do is try to make me feel bad. Well, you accomplish a little bit of that. You piss me the hell off. More than anyone on this planet. Quite literally. I'd rather listen to 6 hours of Opera music than see your face.
It's not really my fault you can't make anymore friends once one of your best friends moved away. But that doesn't mean you can keep my own best friends away from me.
I honestly didn't give a damn when I saw you eating lunch by yourself. I really didn't feel bad or anything. I don't feel bad for you.
I didn't know I could hate someone this much.
Oh. Look. You just texted me. FUCK OFF. I don't care.
You'll get what's coming to you one day.
Bitch.

I hate you,
Molly.

Hello fascination.

"Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about."

Like I use to.

I keep forgetting about my blog :( I've been busy with school and friend that it just kinda slipped my mind. Well, I'm back for now (:

The last month has been... eh. Okay. I mean, it hasn't been bad, but I can think of a few things that could have made it better. I'm always in a ~~~ mood, you know? Up, down.
Things are just kinda different now. Not totally different, but I can feel the difference. Especially with my friends. Some I feel really close to, and some... I feel like our friendship is slowly fading. I really don't want that to happen, and I'm trying everything to keep it from happening. But I can't really control everything. I just really don't like being ignored.

I guess I can still say I'm happy. Somewhat as least.

Right now I'm kinda obsessed with the song 'Like We Use To' by A Rocket To The Moon <3 It's so amazing. For some reason I put a song to describe like... different points in my life. This one is for now (: It makes me happy.

Anyways. That's kinda all I got for now.


Don't stop believing (:

I'll take my chances.

Gah, I haven't written a blog in so long :P
Since my last blog, I've started my 10th grade school year and had my 16th birthday (:

Yep! 16 years old. My birthday was pretty good. It was nice not having a hurricane this year. My birthday was September 14th. The Saturday before, my parents brought my friends, Tyler, Ayah, Bo, and me to Tokyo (: No, no, no. Not Japan. Haha, the restaurant! I had a yummy rainbow roll and some chicken fried rice. It was nice. Then, on my actual birthday... well, it started pretty bad. Terrible, really. But, it ended just lovely (:

As far as my drivers license. I got my permit a few months too late, and I have to wait until November to get that. But I can't wait (:

This school year has been pretty great. I've made some new friends and I like most of my classes. This week is spirit week. Spirit week is when we have different themes to dress up for each day. Today was 'Fashion Disaster' day. I looked terrible (: It was pretty funny seeing everyone walk around looking silly. Tomorrow is 'Down on the farm' day. That's pretty self-explanatory, but yeah, we're suppose to dress up like we're on a farm. I need to find some cowboy boots :P Then Wednesday is 'Kickin' It Old-school' day. It use to be called 'Blast to the past' but they changed it for some reason this year. Well, of course we dress up as something from the past. I'll probably just like, tease my hair and wear some leggings, shorts, a cut off sweater, and a tank top. It'll be cute. Then Thursday is the every popular, 'NEDERLAND NERD DAY!' Nederland is our school's rival. The Nederland Bulldogs. We dress up like them, except all nerdy (: It's pretty great. Then last, Friday! 'EXTREME SPIRIT DAY' :D I think that day should be my best outfit. I'm wearing my school shirt, shorts, french-braiding my hair, and my friends and I are painting our legs :D It'll be amazing.

Why do we do this, you ask? Well, this Friday, our football team is playing Nederland. Which like I said, they're our rivals. So it's pretty much one of the most important games of the year. Everyone's pretty pumped.

But anyways, I'll try to update more. School has been keeping me pretty busy though :P


Peaaaace <3

Have a little faith in me.

"So, I won't do what you told me
I won't do what you said, no
I'm not goin' stop feelin'
I'm not goin' forget

I don't want to start over
I don't want to pretend that
You are not my lover
That you're only my friend"


So, today is the day. It's the last day of summer vacation. Tomorrow, I will wake up at 6:00 am, take a shower, get dressed, and go to school for the first time in 3 months. Part of me thinks nothing special happened this summer. Nothing significant happened. But you know, it did. Something amazing happened. Not on the outside, but on the inside. I feel so much better now. I think for the first time in over a year and a half, I think...

I am actually happy.

It's been over a year and a half since I've actually said that. And, honestly. I have to thank the most amazing friends I have. Tyler, Brie, and Ayah. Wow. Those guys are the most amazing people ever. I love them to death.

The last two days have been AMAZING. I don't even know. I just thought they were great, because I was actually able to enjoy them. I am happy.

I have come to terms with everything I have been upset with, and I'm glad I finally was able to do that.

This school year should be a great year. I hope so. Even though I didn't accomplish everything I wanted this summer. I still was able to fix something that has been affecting my life for a long time. I'm happy that I've moved on, and realized that letting go of some things is the best thing to do. I'm not giving up everything, but I'm giving up most of it.

Right now I am listening to my official summer soundtrack. The whole Nothing Personal album by All Time Low. I've chosen that whole CD to be my summer album. I couldn't think of anything better. I love it so much, and it has really helped me with everything <3

I got my school schedule on Friday, and I really like it (: I have a few of my friends in my classes and I just think I'll like it. Part of me is excited for everything to just get started again. To just get back with it, but I am REALLY going to miss sleeping in every day and staying up all night. I am going to miss not having a curfew. But, I think it's time I moved out of summer and back into the school year yet again.

So, here is to another year with my friends. New and old. Here's to making everything count, and living in the moment. Taking chances and seeing where life will lead us (:
Freshman year was so crazy, I am really wondering how Sophomore will even compare. I mean, last year was... wow. I really grew up, and so did my friends. I am really excited, and a tad nervous, to see what this year is going to bring.


<3