Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty.

When I thought he couldn't get any more perfect, he continues to amaze me with each and every word.
“This next song goes out to anybody who’s ever been told that the way that they think or the way that they feel is the wrong way to think or the wrong way to feel. Goes out to anybody who’s ever been pushed down, held back, walked on…anybody who doesn’t feel comfortable in their own skin, anybody…everybody - it goes out to everybody. It goes out to all of you! And the reason it goes out to all of you is because every single one of you is fucking beautiful. I’ve noticed that there’s a lot of people in the world trying to tell other people that they’re not beautiful. And I don’t stand for that, I think that’s bullshit. Each and every single one of you are gorgeous, believe in yourselves. This song goes out to all of you. It’s called ‘Therapy’.”

-Alex Gaskarth

Please.

Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.

Long live.

I have not posted a good blog in a really long time. I really wanted to a couple of times, but I didn't. I feel about 40 thousand different emotions in one day. It's kind of hard to deal with, but I'm trying my best. I spent most of the time either at work or at school. I rarely have time between. I miss my best friend more and more ever day. I'm still completely hopeless with my love life. I got a new kitten. I rescued it from someone who never should have gotten a cat in the first place. Her name is Marteensie. I got my iphone for my birthday and I really love it.
I spend more time on my tumblr. But I prefer this for my text posts and to really rant about things. Mostly because not many people have access to this blog.
I wish I used it more.
I'm relaxing right now by myself, just thinking and enjoying myself. That's something I don't get to do as much as I want. I wish I had more time to just chill out.
It's starting to get cold outside and I'm so excited. I'm so ready for winter. I'm ready for sweaters, scarves, and boots. I'm ready to see my breath when I walk out the door. I'm ready for something to change. I need something new to happen.

I don't really know what to say next.
I don't feel like I'm done yet.
I guess that's one of my problems.
I don't know when to stop.

Thanks,

asshole.

It's been a while.

Nothing really changed.
School started,
I got a job,
...that's about it.

Se me olvido.

I forgot.

I love you like a love song, baby.

I wanna tell you that I like you so bad,
but I'm so worried of ruining what we already have.

I would do anything for you.

Never wanna stand up for myself
Never wanna get in the way, I said it
I don’t know what the plan is,
But you can share with me, ‘cause I’ll
Be listening here,
To everything you say, I won’t turn away
And I will listen, open up my heart and
I must say that I love you, so

Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known

Every day is a battle I face
Strange life i live but its what you've decided
I’ll give it all into your hands,
Do what you will with me, and oh
I’ll smile when you speak
Remember all those times I was hoping for something
And shaking my head from all I have done
But you never left me

Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known

Give it up for you, I would give it up for you
I would give it up for you, I’d do anything for you

Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than ever before
Oo la love, I’ve fallen in love, and it’s better this time than I’ve ever known

I have fallen in love
I have fallen in love
I have fallen in love

Awe man.

These people tryin' ta jock my swag, yo.

Enough for always.

I wish I could keep my best friends around all the time.
I'm so much happier when they're around.

Do you want me? Do you want me dead?

"Oh, give it up for at least a second
I'm getting sick of your bullshit attitude
And how you walk around like you shine brighter
It's killing me
So what do you say?
Do you want me
Or do you want me dead?"

I can tell you don't like me/give a shit about me. It's so obvious. There is only one reason you're around, and we both know what it is. Fuck you and your "bullshit attitude." I use to actually think we were somewhat of friends (at least a little), but recently I've realized that I don't even matter. I'm too loud and annoying. I'm not creative at all. We're nothing alike. You ignore me mostly, which is whatever. I know you're never excited to see me. You just put up with me.
Whatever, bye.

Love, you take my breath away.

♥

No idea that I'm even here.

I can't even make him want me in my dreams.

Downtown, where relationships are no-go.

In my group of friends,

I'm the outcast.

No one even cares.

Forever alone.

I don't know who I am anymore.

Lost.

Hopelessly devoted to you.

My head is saying, "Fool, forget him.",
my heart is saying, "Don't let go".

My heart hurts so bad.

Forget about it.

You know, I'm proud of myself. I finally got rid of something in my life that made me unhappy. That's something I wasn't quite sure about doing, and wasn't quite sure how to do at first. I stopped giving in. I stopped letting things go. I stopped being scared and weak.
I don't care that they say I fuck shit up. I don't care if they say I gave up on them.
I don't care.
I guess the other night was the last straw. The breaking point. The point where I was finally like "This isn't worth it anymore."
Trying to talk to me won't help. Saying "We'll work this out." Well, that won't work because there isn't ANYTHING to work out. I have nothing to work on. I have them a million chances to work on it.
I don't like being used.
I won't have it.

Anonymous.

You’re just a daydream away; I wouldn’t know what to say if I had you. And I’ll keep you a daydream away, just watch from a safe place so I never have to lose…

And today is...

TYLER AND MY 3 YEAR FRIENDAVERSARY!

Then...


And now...


He is my absolute best friend! I love him so much and he is always there for me. Even though it's only been three years, it feels like we've been best friends for forever. I'm totally confident that him and I will continue to always be friend through the rest of our lives. Our kids will be best friends. He's like my brother, and he treats me like a sister (picking on each other included). Even though he moved to Houston, it has not affected our relationship. We're as good of friends as ever. He's possibly the funniest person I've ever met. We've had some of the craziest adventures. I know without him, I wouldn't be who I am today. I can talk to him about anything and he won't judge me. That's what everyone wants/needs. I couldn't ask for anyone better!

&&

It's my first day of summer vacation!

Forget about it.

"You know, there are some days when I really feel like this could work…

…like you and I are finally gonna get it right.

THEN, there are days like today, when you make me want to tear my fucking hair out.”

-Alexander William Gaskarth

Something.... something about the chase.

If only...


...if fucking only.

Who do you think you are?

Wow, jerk.

Fuck you.

Fuck you (An Ode to No One)

No, I'm not going to believe that you "want to hang out with me" so that you can get me to drive you forever away so you can hang out with a lot of people who really aren't your friends, and I don't even give a shit about.
No, hanging out with a lot of people I don't know so you can hang out with a few people you know, and a few people who really don't even know who you are does NOT sound like fun.
No, standing around listening to shitty bands play with the people I mentioned above doesn't sound fun.
And yes, I do realize that I'm your second option and the only friend you have with a car.
And yes, I am quite aware that you aren't going to talk to me tonight because of the fact that I don't want to drive you there.
And NO, that doesn't bother me at all.

You and I.

God obviously knew what he was doing when he didn't let me be with you... and you... and you.

Forever alone.

It really gets old when every single person I know puts down every single thing I love.

To be loved, to be love. What more could you ask for?

I'm not in love, this is not my heart. I'm not gonna waste these words.

Let me go.

Night is falling
We come undone
My heart is broken
Yeah, you're still my only one

But I got so many
Things left to do
I wanna feel like I've been through
What you've been through

You are my first love
Trust me I have tried
But now I know I need to go
Just spread my wings and fly

So, baby
Let my love, let my love go
Baby
Let me live, I've got to go

Maybe
One day I'll be yours, who knows?
Baby
My love, let my love go

(Baby gotta let me go)
My love, let my love go
(gotta let me go)

My love
(Baby gotta let me go)
Let my love go

I still daydream
That you'll stop by
And when my phone rings
I want you're voice on the line

It's not about
Anybody else
This hurts like hell
But I know I need it for myself

You are my first love
Trust me I have tried
But now I need to learn to fall
Without by my side

(Trust me baby) Baby
Let my love, Let my love go
Baby
Let me live, I've got to go

Maybe
One day I'll be yours, who knows?
Baby
My love, let my love go

(Baby gotta let me go)
My love, Let my love go
(Let me go)

My love
(Baby gotta let me go)
Let my love go

How is that?
This hurts me baby
Boy you'll never know
I just can't sit here regretting
Gotta let you go

If we're meant to be forever
Then it's down the road
If you really care about me
Let me go

Baby
Let my love, let my love go
Baby
Let me live, I've got to go

Maybe
One day I'll be yours, who knows?
Baby
My love, let my love go

(Baby gotta let me go)
My love, Let my love go
(Let me go)

My love
(Baby gotta let me go)
Let my love go

Baby
Let my love, let my love go
Baby
Let me live, I've got to go

Maybe
One day I'll be yours, who knows?
Baby
My love, let my love go

(Baby gotta let me go)
My love, let my love go
(Let me go)

My love
(Baby gotta let me go)
Let my love go

Everything I asked for.

There isn't a lot I can do, but I promise I'll do whatever I can for you.

It was like a time bomb set into motion.

What a terrible, terrible Monday.

Wear me out.

I'm so disappointed in you.
What kind of friend are you?

I feel like dancin' tonight.

Something is really wrong with you, but for the first time in about... 9 months, I really don't give a shit.

Hey, hey. We are a hurricane.

I swear to God, it's the random "I love you" texts that make my heart run wild.

So bittersweet.

I think I need to take a break from guys and crushes and stuff for a while. It's been a long time since I haven't had feelings for at least one person. Like a really, really long time. It's slowly tearing me apart. It never works out with anyone. So I think I need some alone time. Time with my friends. I don't need to worry about talking to guys or going on dates or anything.
I hope I can stick with this for a while, because honestly... I think it's what I need.

It was always you.

When the world gets too heavy,
put it on my back.
I'll be your levy.

Only for you.

You said if you don't let it out,
you're gonna let it eat you away.
I'd rather be a cannibal, baby.
Animals like me don't talk anyway.

Heart.

I have been using my Tumblr more and more lately and I've grown to love it (: No, I haven't abandoned my blogger!
But you should check out my Tumblr (:

http://ohhaiheymolly.tumblr.com/

There might be a day when you wake up and everything is gone.

Just be happy with what you have. Stop taking it for granted.

It's just really annoying.

When you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while.

You don't even know how absolutely perfect you are.

Little boxes made of ticky tacky.

You say you can read people...
can you read me?

I close my eyes.

I wonder why I like night time so much when it only depresses me.

Hold your head up girl and you'll go far.

I'm beautiful in my way,
'cause God makes no mistakes.
I'm on the right track, baby.
I was born this way.

I am wonderstruck.

I was enchanted to meet you.

Ugly.

I think I just ran out of self-esteem.

How does it feel?

Every single thing is a let down. I can't get excited about anything anymore. Promise.

Say "I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love."

It's hard, but it's my life.

“If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you.”

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you.”
-Winnie The Pooh

I'm ready for some summer lovin'.

Is it summer yet?

Lets build a castle up into the sky.

If I could gather up the nerve I'd put my feelings into words.

I wonder why the one person I want to like me, doesn't.

How's it gonna be?

"Your definition of crazy differs far too much from my definition. I guess that is what made watching you go crazy so hard for me. There is so much space between acting crazy and losing you mind."
- Keltie Colleen

Natural disasters when she cries.

They say that true love hurts, well this could almost kill me.

Love.
________Never.
________________________________________________Ends.

I can't believe you're gone... again.

Don't go chasing waterfalls,
please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.
I know that ypu're gonna have it your way or nothing at all,
but I think you're moving too fast.

For the first time, I'm wishing the worst.

I JUST CAN'T DO THAT AGAIN.

Heaven can wait up high in the sky, it's you and I.

I promise to support you.

The Real Thing

You Think You Know Me ? (Bold apply)

I am a morning person.
I am a perfectionist.
I am an only child.
I am Catholic.
I am currently in my PJs.
I am currently pregnant.
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
I am left handed.
I am married.
I am addicted to MySpace. Twitter. TUMBLR. Facebook.
I’m shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I currently regret something I have done.
When I get mad I curse.
I don’t like anyone.
I enjoy country music.
I enjoy jazz music.
I have a car.
I have a cell phone.
I have a pet.
I have at least one brother or sister.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I’m smart.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have had a broken bone.
I have caller ID on my phone.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have had surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have had the cops called on me.
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.
I have kissed someone of the same gender.
I have mood swings.
I have rejected someone before.
I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
I have watched Sex and the City.
I like Shakespeare.
I love to cook.
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I miss someone right now.
I own over 100 CDs.
I own over 100 DVDs.
I own and use a library card.
I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.
I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
I sleep a lot during the day.
I strongly dislike math.
I think Britney Spears is pretty.
I will try ALMOST anything once.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
I am currently waiting for someone.
I lost contact with someone, and it sucks.
I hate Miley Cyrus.
I think Party In The USA is catchy.
I’d date Harry Potter.
I am American.
I can name all the past presidents of the United States.
I know who was president before George Bush.
I love pickles.
I need the internet to live.
I prefer vanilla over chocolate.
I watched Star Trek.
I watched all six movies of Star Wars.
I own an Xbox.
I think music is life.

My arms get cold in February air.

"Follow your wishing heart..."

"I believe in love. Fairytales. I believe that hard work works. I believe that we all get a fairy godmother. I believe that the little animals in the sea all sing to each other and that dogs can understand English. If none of those things really exist, but I live my life believing it to be so... Who cares?" -Keltie Colleen.

I need some help.

This year of school is seriously breaking me down.
I can't handle it.

#therapy

TRUTH: It makes me happy to see others happy, but I often contemplate why it's never me.

Fuck my life.

I know I can't take one more step towards you ‘cause all that's waiting is regret.

It took so long just to feel alright.
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes?
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed,
‘cause you broke all your promises.
And now you're back.
You don't get to get me back.

For me hating this day, it turned out absolutely perfect this year (:

January 26th, again.

I'm so happy I'm getting over how much I hate this day.

You're beautiful, every little piece love.

I'm sitting all alone, feeling empty.

Why do I depend on someone who is so undependable?

I can't find your pulse.

What the fuck is everyone's problem?

Damn.

Wish I were a little girl without the weight of the world.

It would be nice
to start over again,
Before we were men.
I'd give, I'd bend.
Let's play pretend.

My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with.

My heart is the worst kind of weapon.

Excuse the post about the rant earlier this morning.
So I have something to write about now. Like a real blog.

My heart has been having a huge... well... confusion? Would you say confusion? I guess. I'll go with it. It's basically been getting messed up lately because of all the shit I keep putting it through. I love, like, and use to love (still kind of do) three people and my heart really doesn't know what to do.

I'm so in love. A love I really can't beat. Nothing whatsoever will make it go away or has made it go away. I still lay up at night thinking. Which I know I shouldn't. I know it's impossible. It always will be, but I don't know why my heart holds on. It's been years and years. I've been through so much. My heart just won't let it go.

There is also this boy I just recently got over after about a 6 month thing. We never dated but it was basically like we were dating. He was a sweet guy, but totally didn't want to commit to me. He pretty much just wanted to be friends with benefits (?) I guess. I 'm not sure. He liked having someone to talk to all the time. He liked having someone to text all the time and call every night. Of course I loved that too. I loved having someone there. But every time we got close, he would push me away. He would make some sort of excuse that would throw me back. Then I would have to work back toward what we had. It was like he had me on a string. Like a yo-yo. As soon I would get to the top, he would throw me back down. It was easy and fast to get back up, but he would once again throw me down. Finally, I got tired of being thrown down, so on the way down I broke the string and fell to the ground away from him. I still care about him, and sometimes I want to try to redo our friendship, but I'm pretty much convinced we can't have a real friendship without being like we're in a relationship.

Then, this boy I like. Wow. He gives me butterflies (something I'm not use to). He's smart, cute, funny, artistic, and so many other things. He's polite and a gentleman. He's the complete opposite of an asshole. I love when he texts me or calls me. I even like just thinking about him. He gets my mind of off the two people above. Which, that's lovely to get away from. He's everything to love in a boy, and everything I'd want from a boy. A boyfriend and a best friend. He makes me want to dance around my room in circles and sing. Something tells me he will either make me or break me.

I'm not depressed, I'm not sad. I'm not crying. I'm not thinking anything bad. My hearts just been through a lot lately, and it was something I needed to write about.
And I did.

You're kidding me.

Be prepared for a rant in about two hours.

It doesn't hurt when I think of you and all the things we'll never get to do.

I don't miss you at all.

I guess that I can live without you, but without you I'll be miserable at best .

You're all that I hoped I'd find
in every single way.
And everything I could give
is everything you couldn't take.
'Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away.
And the hardest part of living
is just taking breaths to stay.

Hes got his mother's eyes, his father's ambition. I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him?

But I never told you what I should have said. No, I never told you. I just held it in.

I see your blue eyes
every time I close mine.
You make it hard to see
where I belong to when I'm not
around you.
It's like I'm not with me.

North and south poles.

Last night I had another one of my odd dreams.

I was with the person I loved the most, and every time we went to kiss... it wouldn't happen. Almost like when you put two of the same poles of magnets together and they'll get really close, they just won't touch.If you don't push hard enough, they'll slide away.
We were sitting on my bed, and every time... it just wouldn't happen.
It was almost like it just wasn't meant to happen.



It's no one's fault.

It kind of goes with the theory that we're too much alike to be together.
But you'd think it would be opposite.

You don't get to get me back.

This video is beautiful. Beautiful song by Christina Perri, and beautiful dancing.

"Hang on little fearless heart.
Live with integrity.
Love fearlessly.
And
Dance.dance.dance."
-Keltie Colleen

I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.

Will you take a moment?
Promise me this;
That you'll stand by me forever,
but if god forbid fate should step in
and force us into a goodbye,
if you have children some day,
when they point to the pictures
please tell them my name.
Tell them how the crowds went wild.
Tell them how I hope they shine.

My heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath, and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest.

Now there's an aching in my back;
a stabbing pain that says I lack,
the common sense and confidence,
to bring an end to promises,
that I make in times of desperate conversation,
hoping my night could be better than theirs in the end.
Just say when.