Too much.

"Too much of anything is too much."

I wish all my problems would just wash away. I wish I could have a good day where nothing goes wrong. I wish everyone would stop hating me. I wish, I wish, I wish. That's the most I can do, is wish. Let's face it, wishes don't always come true. It's very rare that one actually does come true. I mean, there are different wishes. Ones that you have the ability to make come true, and the ones that you have to let fate decide on. Some people have the ability to make their own wishes come true, but are too lazy.
I hate when people have exactly what they want in front of their own face, but can't even see it. It's like "Hey, you have what you want. Why can't you see it?" It's like their blind. What they want is flailing it's arms around, hitting them in the forehead, but they don't even notice. If you have the ability to get what you want, please, just try and notice it.
Then there are the people that realize that it's there, but still choose not to take advantage of it. They know what they want is in front of them, but they still choose not to get up and work for it. It's pretty stupid as well.
Maybe it's not exactly what you pictured in your mind, but still, it's there. You just have to look at the big picture instead of one detail that might not be to your complete liking.

Another thing. I hate being pushed to the side. I hate the feeling of not being important enough for someone. I feel like the "back-up friend" sometimes. It's like, I'm here until someone better comes along for you to talk to. I appreciate the people who don't make the feel like that, but the ones who do, jeez. You don't realize how annoying it is. Some people don't get that they even do it at all, and I guess it's my fault for not sharing all my feelings a lot of the time. Maybe if I did, people would understand. But it's hard for me.

ANYWAYS. I'm done with my little rants. Haha.


Peeeeace.

Stay Close, Don't Go

"And don't you see?
I'm not the only one for you,
but you're the only one for me."

So, recently I've been downloading new CDs like crazy. Something I've been meaning to do. I'm glad I've finally gotten around to it. Haha. I've gotten a bunch of good ones. Both Secondhand Serenade albums, Mitchel Musso (no laughing, he's good), Lily Allen (I'm surprised; I like it), This Providence (which I've been meaning to get for a while), and a few more. I loooooove new music.
Today was a good day, I suppose. I took pictures for my older sister. I'm allowed to use her nice camera as long as I help her take pictures when she needs it. I don't mind. I like being the photographer (:
I also read a new book today that I borrowed from my friend yesterday. I finished the whole thing today. It's called Marked. It's the first book in the House Of Night series. More vampire books. Haha. It was good. I want to read the rest of the books.
I'm also pretty annoyed at my little sister today too. Well, scratch that. It isn't just today. It's pretty much every day. She's immature and annoying. She asks to borrow something, she breaks it, then gets upset when my older sister and I won't let her borrow something else because we're afraid she'll break it. My mom tells me to fix the problem by not letting her borrow my things. But later, when my little sister runs to her because my sister or myself is "being mean and not letting her borrow something", my mom thinks we're being rude. NO, we're trying not to repeat history by fixing the problem. But whatever. complain and whine, but where is that going to get me? No where at all. So I put on my big girl pants and move on. I make the best of it even though I'm not getting what I want. I have my moments where I let it get to me, but it's easy to forget about it when I realize Maybe she should grow up and stop acting like a little kid because we don't always get what we want.
Which is true. We don't always get what we want. I know that one first hand. I could I'm happy with what I have.
Summer is going by so fast. I don't really want it to end, but I am kind of excited for being a sophomore. I just don't want to wake up early or have to deal with grades.
Anyways, I guess I'll go now :)

Lata.

Therapy

Today, I can't seem to find a comfy medium. I can't find a place where I feel comfortable. I don't know what it is, but I just feel awkward. Maybe it's just me. I have no idea, but I don't really like it. It's kinda one of those days where I really don't want to talk to my family, but they really don't get the hints.
Maybe the problem is coming from just over-thinking stupid things. But I don't know how to react to stuff sometimes. Sometimes I'm told something so simple, but in my mind, I turn it into something huge. Like, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, when really, it isn't all that bad.
It'll probably be fine again by tonight, but at the moment, I just feel like I've done something wrong, even though I haven't. I just can't help myself.
I just need something to get my mind off things. Haha.

Well, tomorrow is the 4th of July. My family is going to my great aunt's new lake cabin or the day. Hopefully it'll be fun. I'll probably end up just sitting around with my grandma or something.

Nothing personal.

So, All Time Low's new album "Nothing Personal" was leaked on MTV.com on The Leak. Well, it's pretty much amazing.
Here is the track listing:

1. Weightless
2. Break Your Little Heart
3. Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)
4. Lost In Stereo
5. Stella
6. Sick Little Games
7. Hello Brooklyn
8. Walls
9. Too Much
10. Keep The Change, You Filthy Animal
11. A Party Song (The Walk Of Shame)
12. Therapy

They're all really good. Right now, "Stella" is on repeat. It's so... catchy. You know? Like, I feel the need to get up and dance around. Haha. Very good. I really like what they did with this record. It's staying true to themselves, but it's not like they're writing the same album over again.
I've seen bands try to write a completely different album, but they weren't even the same band in the new one. That's why the first album is usually better. Because that's what they're first impression. Either you like it or you don't. I mean, bands can either get better with albums after their first, but they can also end up sounding like a different band.

But anyways; in other news.
We're in the middle of summer right about now, and so far... nothing exciting. I'm still waiting for something to happen that will make it feel like summer. Everyday is more and more just like... hanging out with friends and whatnot. It just feels like a long weekend. Hopefully something happens soon. I don't want to have to wait until next summer to get that feeling.
Personally, I think it's one of the best feelings you can have. Feeling free. Like, "Yes! It's summer! I can do whatever I want. Let's do something daring and exciting!" But I have yet to find that feeling this summer. Who knows? Maybe it'll start tomorrow, or the next day.
But usually that feeling comes from a change. There really haven't been any dramatic changes yet. But once again, you never know when that will come, if ever.
It's just different because that feeling pretty much started the day after school ended last summer. That's because last summer was full of changes for everyone. Every one started their freshman year of high school being a new person, a high schooler and not a middle schooler. But we're just going to be sophmores this year. Nothing impressive. Oh well. At least next summer I, and most of my friends, will be able to drive :)
Mwhaha! Then things will be more exciting when we can all get out when we want to.

Anyways, I suppose I've done enough rambling for tonight. I'm off to do...nothing. Haha.

XOXOXO

Make believe you don't get colder when it snows.

So, I'm in the middle of my second week of summer, and all ready, it's turning to be a hella lot better than last year. I think this is going to be a good, productive summer.

So, a few of my friends started making Youtube videos, so I thought "Why don't I make some?" I remembered I had an old channel from last December that I never used, so I signed in, made an intro video and BAM, now I have a vlog. So, if you want to see me and a few of my friends make fools of ourselves, here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/user/mollyesc2o12

So, today was pretty good. Tyler came over and we just kinda chilled. We listened to music, made videos, and acted like retards. The usual. Haha.
Friday I plan to go to Ayah's house. I'm really excited about that :) She's a blast. We plan on making videos. I can only imagine how "interesting" those videos will turn out to be. XD

Right now I'm listening to my Top 25 Played songs on iTunes. The song playing right now is Invisible by Taylor Swift. Ha, I can kind of relate. But it's really good.

I guess that's enough for today.
Peace!

Blank stares and fake smiles

Who are you trying to fool? Certainly not me, I hope.

So, today was one of those super boring "don't do anything" days. I've grown to absolutely hate them. I want to do things with my friends, but I really don't have a whole lot of friends to do things with. Pretty much everyone gets on my nerves, so I pretty much have like 4 friends that I can actually stand for more than a few hours. People like Ayah and Tyler. I'd never get tired of them, no matter how long I'm around them. Mah bestiesssss. But anyways, boring day. Yeah. I kinda just sat around, watched TV, and listened to music. I drank an apple juice slushie from sonic. They're pretty good. Haha.

At the moment, I'm listening to the song Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night) by All Time Low!

Uh-mazing.

So, I've just been reading and reading quotes and blogs by Alex Gaskarth. He's pretty amazing. Not only does he know how to be an amazing singer and really funny, he actually knows how to be deep. I really like this one:

"Love is not only blind, but a fool, a stumbling mess falling backwards through showroom doors into atmospheres unwelcoming of his presence."-Alexander William Gaskarth.

And his lyrics. Gah!

"I've never told a lie,

and that makes me a liar.

I've never made a bet,

but we gamble with desire.

I've never lit a match with intent to start a fire,

but recently the flames are getting out of control."

&&

"I hope the air will serve to remind you

that my heart is as cold

as the clouds of your breath

and my words are as timed

as the beating in my chest."

-From Jasey Rae

-------------------------------

"Drink up last call before the sunrise sets the scene,

with empty bottles heavy hearts,

the memories of broken dreams.

We were so tired, yet so alive

wrapped up in lies like sheets of another one night stand.

You know you left the girl with nothing but the

sunrise through the window pane,

where tired eyes will close."

-From The Party Scene

-------------------------------

"From coast to coast, I'll make the most

of ever second I've been giving with this crowd.

Without a doubt, you're all I dream about.

All the nights we lay awake

with stories taking us back to the nights we felt alive."

-From Vegas

-------------------------------

"Now I've walked this line a thousand times before.

It hurts to much to bear,

FOR YOU

I'd tear out my own heart,

and write our names together."

-From Memories That Fade Like Photographs

------------------------------

"Before you ask which way to go,

remember where you've been."

&&

"Stay awake!

Get a grip and get out, you're safe

from the weight of the world,

just take a second and set things straight.

I'll be fine,

even though I'm not always right,

I can count on the sun to shine.

Dedication takes a lifetime, but dreams only last for a night."

-From Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night)

------------------------------

"Sing me to sleep,

I'll see you in my dreams,

waiting to say,

'I miss you, I'm so sorry.' "

-From Lullabies.

Those are just a few good lines that I love. All of All Time Low's songs might be though of as just another Pop/Rock band, but their songs are actually full of meanings and are very, very good.

Their new album is gonna be amazing!

Haha, wow. I'm a nerd :)

I can't help it though. I know what I like.

"I am in control of no one but myself,

or so I've been told,

over and over again,

but low and behold,

some scholars are liars.

Who would have thunk that the educated could be so misleading,

in times when all a kid needs,

is to be told that at some point in life,

we all lose our minds.

I care about everyone but myself,

unless you're listening.

I'm always watching,

always waiting for the next available moment in time,

when I can lash out and make something of myself,

for myself,

because unless I'm doing,

I'm wasting,

and there are too many out there who are far too quick to judge.

I hope to better myself,

to make ends meet,

and find answers to all of these rhetorical questions,

posed lightly on a virtual plane,

so as not to overwhelm my OVER-WORKED brain. (poor brain x.x)

I just want to set foot on my own door-step for once,

take a big, deep breath,

and realize that once again,

I belong to an address,

not the other way around.

Its easy to forget how to appreciate your front door,

when you're always walking through it."

-Alexander William Gaskarth.