Down and Out.

Now that I'm grown I've seen marriages fall to pieces.
Now that I'm grown I've seen friendships fall to pieces.
Weekend warriors, and our best friends.
The writers weren't kidding about how all good things must end.
Then again some things, then again some things are far too good,
Some things are far too good to go ahead and let go.

Bitter sweet love.

He's smart and just oh so funny.
He's got a deep soul and face that's just too lovely.
He thinks he's never wrong,
because most of the time he is right.
Yet on the occasions that changes,
he'll most likely start a fight.
He usually gets what he wants.
Everything his handed over.
Even with relationships;
he's always got a new lover.
He holds his head so tall,
at you'd the he's oh so strong.
But I know on the inside,
he's simply innocent and small.
He's the sweetest boy I've ever met.
Almost anyone will agree.
He makes everything seem so easy.
For him, it's as natural as summer breeze.
I don't think he'll ever know just how hard I fell for him.
And you know what?
That's just fine.
Because as long as I walk this earth,
I'll know he wasn't ever really mine.

You only live once, now take this to heart.

"Smile like you don't give a damn about the consequence.
Just say anything.
We say summer holds such wonderful things."
-All Time Low

Summer 2010 starts today. This is the quote I will be living by.

When it rains...

[I] shou[l]d be [ove]r [you.]

The girl's a straight up hustler.

I've got no place in my heart for a criminal like you to dwell, in this endeavor.
Make this last forever...
I'm just delirious.
You can't be serious.
You're so infamous for leaving me a mess...

Take off your makeup, and put down the camera.
Choke on the drama that makes me want to tear up the pictures and pages you've saved.
Creating a life of trends and make believe.

She gets what she wants and she breaks what she gets.
Get out while you can or she'll tear you to pieces.

"Are you having a good time sweetheart?"

Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to.

I've realized that I'm missing something. Something I really need.

Confidence. ; (adj) assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities


I need more confidence in myself. How am I going to get anywhere if I don't believe enough in myself. And if I don't believe in myself, then who else is? I have to be more bold and outgoing. Straight forward. Not worry about what other people are thinking or saying. Because in all reality, nothing they say matters. I have to be more confident.

Confidence is what separates the men from the boys, am I right?
Confidence is that "absolute couldn't-care-fucking-less-what-every-fucking-body thinks" kind of attitude.
Confidence is sexy.

That's just what I need.

We're all part of the same sick little games, and I need a get-away.

I sort of feel like I'm being pushed to the side and forgotten.
I also feel like nothing comes as easy for me as it does for my friends.

Like, a lot of the people I know just keep getting everything they want. They don't realize it, but when they want something, they get it. For me, I want something, and I kinda sorta hope I get it, but I'm usually let down. Like why me? What did I do to deserve being ignored? My wants and needs are just as important as anyone else's, right?
It just comes so easy. Given like candy.
For me, it's like someone showing this great piece of candy, but laughs and says I can't have it.

I don't feel like I've done anything wrong. I don't feel like there's anything wrong with me. But it kinda upsets me when people get exactly what they want CONSTANTLY and they barely have to work for it. It kinda just falls out of the sky onto their lap.
Why can't I get that lucky?

How do I get what I want?

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, when you think everything's okay and everything's going right.

And life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face.

Sure as hell.

Condemn yourself
With this nonsense
And sure as hell
I still love you
And as long as there's a God in Heaven
I will want you
And as long as Hell is still burning
I will want you back

I still want you back
I still want you back
I still want you back
I still want you back

Baby, it's okay.

It's not okay.
It's not okay how you can be a jerk to me.
It's not okay how you can NOT say sorry.
It's not okay how you expect me to say I'm sorry for things I don't do.
It's not okay how you accuse me of shit you have no idea about.
It's not okay how you blame me for getting something wrong, when you've been getting it wrong too.
It's not okay how you call me stupid.
It's not okay how you call me a bitch and mean it.
It's not okay how you call me out.
It's not okay to ignore me.
It's not okay to treat me differently.
It's not okay to treat me like I'm your bitch.
It's not okay to get me to do everything you want.
It's not okay to treat me like shit sometimes because you think it's funny.
It's not okay to bitch at me.
It's not okay that I just sit and take it.
It's not okay that I sit and take it because I love you.
It's not okay that I only take it because I'm scared of losing you.
It's not okay that I AM scared of losing you.

It's just not okay.

BUT,

It's okay that you're amazing.
It's okay that you're still my favorite person.
It's okay that I forgive you.
It's okay that I'll continue to forgive you over and over.
It's okay how you love me back.
It's okay how you make me happy when we're together.
It's okay how I'll do anything and everything to make you happy.
It's okay how I'd die for you.
It's okay how I know you'd die for me too.
It's okay how we can argue about things, but make up 5 minutes later.
It's okay that we're best friends.
It's okay that simply your smile makes my heart warm.
It's okay that I've never wanted to spend so much time with anyone else.
It's okay that I love you.
It's okay that you spend all your time with me.
It's okay that you talk to me when you're sad.
It's okay that we trust each other with everything.
It's okay that we respect each other.
It's okay that we won't tell each other how to live our lives.
It's okay that we're different from each other.
It's okay that I care about you.
It's okay that you care about me.
It's okay that we'll be together for a long time.
It's okay that we'll always stand up for each other.
It's okay that we're happy.
It's okay that I don't regret a single moment.
It's okay that I can't live without you.
It's okay when you cry on my shoulder.
It's okay when I cry on your shoulder.
It's okay when you call me at 3 AM.
It's okay when you want to do something spontaneously.
It's okay when you smile at me when you see me.
It's okay when we pick on each other.
It's okay when we give our own opinions.

It's perfectly fine that you're the kind of person that will laugh when I fall, but help me up and whisper "It's okay, I still love you."

It's perfectly fine that the goods out-weigh the bad.
Which is why I'll never give up on you.
You mean the most to me out of anyone else, and I'd never give you up.
I love you.

Just typing this out makes me feel better.

Take time to realize.

It's almost scary how badly I... need you.
Everything about me craves you.

Gimme gimme gimme!

WAIT! No.

Build me up, baby.

"You're just a let down,
another one of my mistakes.
I never loved you anyway,
I never did and I never will..."

I'm just a fool for you and I think I'm going crazy.

I thought you actually cared about me.

I was SO wrong.


I never stopped loving you.
I just stopped showing you I do.


I know that I shouldn't let it get to me
But it does and who am I kidding?
A dead end job and a lack of family
This town really gets to me.

Fold your hands, child.

I feel like a punching bag.
Everyone takes their stress frustration out on me, leaving me a beaten, lifeless sack.

Love never wanted me.

"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire."

I loled.

Cross your fingers.

How on earth is it possible for someone to seem so amazingly beautiful, but inside they're really pure evil? How can someone be so manipulative that they can even make the most aware person totally fooled?
How can someone be so awful, but lead the world on to be an amazing person?

I don't understand how they do it. I don't understand WHY they do it.

I. Don't. Understand.

Like WE use to.

I could feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me
Sharing pillows and cold feet
She can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat
Under blankets and warm sheets
If only I could be in that bed again
If only it were me instead of him

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times
Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I use to?

14 months and 7 days ago,
Oh I know you know how we felt about that night
Just your skin against the window
Oh we took it slow and we both know
It shoulda been me inside that car
It should have been me instead of him in the dark

Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts?
When you've seen it a million times
Does he sing to all your music?
While you dance to purple rain
Does he do all these things?
Like I used to?

I know that love happens all the time, love
(I'm a sucker for that feeling)
You're on my mind, love
(I always end up feeling cheated)
And that happens all the time, love
(Oh darling, I know I'm not needed)

Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like your invincible
With every word he'll say
Can you promise me that this was right?
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things?
Like we used to

Oh like we used to

Steady feet, don't fail me now.

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need

Nothing less than happy.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I am 1000% happier too?

Just imagine for one moment that the world wasn't one big competition who is happier than who, who is prettier than who and who is more talented than who?

What if we just loved freely and gave everyone the chance to be the very best that they can be- at whatever it is that they love the most?

I like this idea.

Sometimes it depresses me to think that when someone wins that someone else has to lose. Why? Why cannot we all find our little corners of the world where we belong, where we feel our best, where we love our best, where we give our best hugs. Follow me there.

Maybe you think that because I am alone that I am lonely. I am not. I am whole. So you can try to sensationalize this story into something relevant but the bottom line is, no one has to lose if everyone has love in their heart. Quit the negative shit. I doesn't look good on you."


-Keltie Colleen


Keltie, you are too big of an inspiration to even explain. You are smart, beautiful, and amazingly talented.