Obvious

Part of me is sort of missing my old life. Missing the old days. Back to 8th grade. No one hated me. I had great friends, and I was genuinely happy. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I'm SO glad to have the friends I have now and have the life I'm living. But it feels different. It might not be obvious, but I have changed so much in the past year. I've learned more about who I am now, and who I will continue to be.
Some things I've learned:
1. You don't always get what you want.
2. Sometimes making other people happy is more important than your own happiness.
3. You shouldn't care what others think of you, because honestly, it doesn't matter.
4. Some friends aren't always there for you, even when they say they are.
5. Jealousy is a bitch.
6. Life is hard.

Those are just a few of the many lessons I've had to learn in the last year. I will continue to learn more about life in the soon future and distant future.
Life is about surprises. Good and bad. Deal with them or run away. But I have to say, running away hardly does anything for you. If you're willing to give up that easily, then life will take you down. Hard. You have to take chances. It's how you learn. It's how you live. It's how you grow up. No one knows what is going to happen. You're the only one who has any say in what you'll do next, so make a wise choice.
I am a very lucky person. I haven't made any huge mistakes in my past that will effect my future. Of course, there were a few things I wonder what would have happened if I would have done something differently, but then again, don't we all?

Also to add;
Sometimes I feel lonely. Like no one understands me. Which isn't right. It's my fault for not letting people in. I bottle up my feelings and never let anyone know what I'm thinking. It's a fear of being vulnerable to anyone. I don't want to seem weak. But when I do that, I feel like shit. I bottle up until eventually, I break down. Completely unconsolable.
If you're like me, you really should find someone to talk to. A good friend will let you cry on their shoulder and will understand what you say. They will listen.
But then again, I have a hard time telling some people my feelings, because I feel like they just view me as immature because I haven't done as much as them. Just because I haven't been out there doesn't mean I don't have emotions.
Also, love is a touchy subject. You know? Everyone in their life knows what it's like to love someone. In different ways. It's something that causes the most emotion for people. It can make you feel extremely happy, and it can also hurt you the most.
Although you may not have someone to be with, as in a relationship, that doesn't mean you don't love people. Loving your friends, parents, siblings, and other people in your life. They're always there for you. If you need someone to talk to, go to them.

I know I will always be there for my friends if they need me. I love them to death, and if it weren't for them, I probably would be physically depressed. I know I'm never really lonely because of them. <3

This blog is dedicated to one of my best friends, Ayah <3
I love you darling. Anytime you feel upset or lonely, know I'm always there for you, no matter what. That's what best friends are for!