Well, I might not have a lot of friends, but the one I have are amazing.
This was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm making a friend blog. Hahaha.
No certain order really (:
Jacquelyn: Oh Jac. You've been there ever since the beginning. You are the best big sister anyone could ever ask for. I know we fight sometimes, but all siblings do. But I'm really glad we have such an amazing relationship. I can always trust you and I know you'll be there for the rest of my life, no matter what. You are hilarious. I know you love that I laugh at everything you say. But quite honestly, I think you are SO funny. You have the most amazing taste in fashion. You look gorgeous in everything you wear. I also have to thank you for my obsession with music. I know you don't really like a lot of the stuff I listen to, but you're the one who influenced me to get into music. You even took me to my first concert. That night still remains to be the BEST night of my life. It was amazing. We need to go to some more concerts soon. We haven't been to one in a while.
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I love you soooo much Jac (: You're the best big sister I could ask for.
Brielle:Brieeeee<3 I love you girly! You're ammmmmmmazing. We met about like... a year and a half ago? Something like that. It was because of our MASSIVE obsession with Panic! at the Disco, which really, neither of actually have anymore. We have Patdonline.com to thank for our friendship (: Just because we all got in trouble for talking in comments under the posts. Hahaha. We were the only ones who really kept talking when everyone stopped signing onto AIM. Now we're BEST friends. But really, you help me out SO much. I love being able to talk to you about everything. You really have no clue how much you cheer me up. I think you also know the most about me more than anyone on this planet. I never really try to hide anything from you because I know whatever it is, it will come out eventually. You're the one who helps me keep my head on straight. You're not afraid to tell me how it is, not matter what, and I respect that. I really don't know how I would have gotten through the past year and a half without you. I know when I'm upset, I can always depend on you to make it all better. I love you SO much, Brieezy. I really need to go to New York so we can party. We have to dress up like scene queens, dance around to A Fever You Can't Sweat Out, and make cupcakes (: <3 <3 <3
Tyler: Oh God. What do I say about you Tyler? What can I NOT say about you? Haha. For the last year or so, you've pretty much been my best friend (and the father of my many, many children). You're pretty amazing, I'm not gonna lie. You're always there when I need you. I remember when you use to call me every night, and we would talk for FOREVER about pretty much nothing. I don't think I could ever spend 8 hours talking on the phone with anyone else. If my phone goes off at 3 in the morning, I always know exactly who it is. Haha. I can tell you anything and you won't think of me differently. We have an extensive collection of children that sit on my computer, and some imaginary ones who live in Peru. (I still say we should invite them down for some easy mac and pink lemonade) I love spending time with you. I love watching you make your little "music videos" and taking pictures on my webcam. You're also a Twitter Whore. But it's not you're fault. I was one first, and I just HAD to make you one :) You're one of the funniest people I know. I'm so happy you moved back from Houston. Like, really. You're really smart too... well, sometimes. You do have your dumb moments, but don't we all? Hahaha! Youuu're my pancake forevers and forevers! :D I love you, chubi <3 Noooooo matter what (:
Ayah:Holy crap. Ayah. You're the most insane person I've ever met. I can honestly say that. You're HILARIOUS. You make me laugh soooo hard. You're also the most hyper person I've ever met. When we hang out, there is not ONE boring moment. "Ello Youtube, 'ow are yew?" Hahahaha! We've been friends pretty much since around 5th grade. We've seen each other grow up a lot, but we've still stayed pretty great friends. I loved sitting with you during lunch one white days. You always told me to move my head so you could stare at "you know who" xD Haha! I could sit and listen to you talk for hours, and I'm pretty sure I would never get bored. I'd get a tad confused once in a while, because you tend not to make a lot of sense, but it's all good (: I got you into being a Twitter Whore too! I seem to be pretty good at that. Hahaha. Anyways, I love you Ayah :) Oh soooo much!
Amberly:AMBERLY! Now you, I can talk to YOU about anything and you always seem to know how to relate to it. We always have fun when I spend the night at your house! "Would you like a bag to put your damn, um, legos in?" -Your mother. That was hilarious xD You're crazy, but that's why I love spending time with you. You're the only reason I kept sitting at that table every purple day during lunch, even though I really didn't like anyone else. Smiling Bob! :] It was funny when we all tried throwing cookies into your shirt. Haha. You made Spanish class a hella lot more fun, although you never seemed to know how to say anything. You and Montana. Jeez. PERVERTS! Poor Sabah. Do you think she is still having problems with computer viruses? ;D Mallory always seemed to fall asleep. I still have that picture of her we took of her sleeping. Hahahaha. Good times, good times. I looooove you Amberly :) Love, Moopass Eskank.
Stephanie:Steffy!<3 It's been like, what? Two and a half years since we started talking? We also met because of Panic! at the disco. It's funny. I never though I'd get one of my best friends from Youtube. lmao. We use to use Youtube like myspace. It was pretty funny. You had posted a bulletin about just getting Aim or something, and I messaged you my SN. It was kinda awkward at first, but then we started the infamous conversation about FONTS. That was pretty amazing. Since then, we've always been pretty close friends. I sware, you've changed SO much since then. You've dyed your hair like a bazillion times. Hahaha. Remember when you had blonde hair? Sometimes I forget that's your natural hair color. Haha. You also use to wear glasses. It's funny how much people change. But you've always had the same personality (: OMG STEFFY! Uriegasms! ;D You really need to come down and hang out in my box for a bit. We can have a dance party and eat VEGAN mexican food. That'll be fun. You're pretty insane. Sometimes I have no idea how we get on some conversations, but they're usually hilarious. You really are one of my best friends (; I luhh you Steffy!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Obvious
Part of me is sort of missing my old life. Missing the old days. Back to 8th grade. No one hated me. I had great friends, and I was genuinely happy. I haven't felt like that in a long time. Don't get me wrong, I'm SO glad to have the friends I have now and have the life I'm living. But it feels different. It might not be obvious, but I have changed so much in the past year. I've learned more about who I am now, and who I will continue to be.
Some things I've learned:
1. You don't always get what you want.
2. Sometimes making other people happy is more important than your own happiness.
3. You shouldn't care what others think of you, because honestly, it doesn't matter.
4. Some friends aren't always there for you, even when they say they are.
5. Jealousy is a bitch.
6. Life is hard.
Those are just a few of the many lessons I've had to learn in the last year. I will continue to learn more about life in the soon future and distant future.
Life is about surprises. Good and bad. Deal with them or run away. But I have to say, running away hardly does anything for you. If you're willing to give up that easily, then life will take you down. Hard. You have to take chances. It's how you learn. It's how you live. It's how you grow up. No one knows what is going to happen. You're the only one who has any say in what you'll do next, so make a wise choice.
I am a very lucky person. I haven't made any huge mistakes in my past that will effect my future. Of course, there were a few things I wonder what would have happened if I would have done something differently, but then again, don't we all?
Also to add;
Sometimes I feel lonely. Like no one understands me. Which isn't right. It's my fault for not letting people in. I bottle up my feelings and never let anyone know what I'm thinking. It's a fear of being vulnerable to anyone. I don't want to seem weak. But when I do that, I feel like shit. I bottle up until eventually, I break down. Completely unconsolable.
If you're like me, you really should find someone to talk to. A good friend will let you cry on their shoulder and will understand what you say. They will listen.
But then again, I have a hard time telling some people my feelings, because I feel like they just view me as immature because I haven't done as much as them. Just because I haven't been out there doesn't mean I don't have emotions.
Also, love is a touchy subject. You know? Everyone in their life knows what it's like to love someone. In different ways. It's something that causes the most emotion for people. It can make you feel extremely happy, and it can also hurt you the most.
Although you may not have someone to be with, as in a relationship, that doesn't mean you don't love people. Loving your friends, parents, siblings, and other people in your life. They're always there for you. If you need someone to talk to, go to them.
I know I will always be there for my friends if they need me. I love them to death, and if it weren't for them, I probably would be physically depressed. I know I'm never really lonely because of them. <3
This blog is dedicated to one of my best friends, Ayah <3
I love you darling. Anytime you feel upset or lonely, know I'm always there for you, no matter what. That's what best friends are for!
Some things I've learned:
1. You don't always get what you want.
2. Sometimes making other people happy is more important than your own happiness.
3. You shouldn't care what others think of you, because honestly, it doesn't matter.
4. Some friends aren't always there for you, even when they say they are.
5. Jealousy is a bitch.
6. Life is hard.
Those are just a few of the many lessons I've had to learn in the last year. I will continue to learn more about life in the soon future and distant future.
Life is about surprises. Good and bad. Deal with them or run away. But I have to say, running away hardly does anything for you. If you're willing to give up that easily, then life will take you down. Hard. You have to take chances. It's how you learn. It's how you live. It's how you grow up. No one knows what is going to happen. You're the only one who has any say in what you'll do next, so make a wise choice.
I am a very lucky person. I haven't made any huge mistakes in my past that will effect my future. Of course, there were a few things I wonder what would have happened if I would have done something differently, but then again, don't we all?
Also to add;
Sometimes I feel lonely. Like no one understands me. Which isn't right. It's my fault for not letting people in. I bottle up my feelings and never let anyone know what I'm thinking. It's a fear of being vulnerable to anyone. I don't want to seem weak. But when I do that, I feel like shit. I bottle up until eventually, I break down. Completely unconsolable.
If you're like me, you really should find someone to talk to. A good friend will let you cry on their shoulder and will understand what you say. They will listen.
But then again, I have a hard time telling some people my feelings, because I feel like they just view me as immature because I haven't done as much as them. Just because I haven't been out there doesn't mean I don't have emotions.
Also, love is a touchy subject. You know? Everyone in their life knows what it's like to love someone. In different ways. It's something that causes the most emotion for people. It can make you feel extremely happy, and it can also hurt you the most.
Although you may not have someone to be with, as in a relationship, that doesn't mean you don't love people. Loving your friends, parents, siblings, and other people in your life. They're always there for you. If you need someone to talk to, go to them.
I know I will always be there for my friends if they need me. I love them to death, and if it weren't for them, I probably would be physically depressed. I know I'm never really lonely because of them. <3
This blog is dedicated to one of my best friends, Ayah <3
I love you darling. Anytime you feel upset or lonely, know I'm always there for you, no matter what. That's what best friends are for!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Too much.
"Too much of anything is too much."
I wish all my problems would just wash away. I wish I could have a good day where nothing goes wrong. I wish everyone would stop hating me. I wish, I wish, I wish. That's the most I can do, is wish. Let's face it, wishes don't always come true. It's very rare that one actually does come true. I mean, there are different wishes. Ones that you have the ability to make come true, and the ones that you have to let fate decide on. Some people have the ability to make their own wishes come true, but are too lazy.
I hate when people have exactly what they want in front of their own face, but can't even see it. It's like "Hey, you have what you want. Why can't you see it?" It's like their blind. What they want is flailing it's arms around, hitting them in the forehead, but they don't even notice. If you have the ability to get what you want, please, just try and notice it.
Then there are the people that realize that it's there, but still choose not to take advantage of it. They know what they want is in front of them, but they still choose not to get up and work for it. It's pretty stupid as well.
Maybe it's not exactly what you pictured in your mind, but still, it's there. You just have to look at the big picture instead of one detail that might not be to your complete liking.
Another thing. I hate being pushed to the side. I hate the feeling of not being important enough for someone. I feel like the "back-up friend" sometimes. It's like, I'm here until someone better comes along for you to talk to. I appreciate the people who don't make the feel like that, but the ones who do, jeez. You don't realize how annoying it is. Some people don't get that they even do it at all, and I guess it's my fault for not sharing all my feelings a lot of the time. Maybe if I did, people would understand. But it's hard for me.
ANYWAYS. I'm done with my little rants. Haha.
Peeeeace.
I wish all my problems would just wash away. I wish I could have a good day where nothing goes wrong. I wish everyone would stop hating me. I wish, I wish, I wish. That's the most I can do, is wish. Let's face it, wishes don't always come true. It's very rare that one actually does come true. I mean, there are different wishes. Ones that you have the ability to make come true, and the ones that you have to let fate decide on. Some people have the ability to make their own wishes come true, but are too lazy.
I hate when people have exactly what they want in front of their own face, but can't even see it. It's like "Hey, you have what you want. Why can't you see it?" It's like their blind. What they want is flailing it's arms around, hitting them in the forehead, but they don't even notice. If you have the ability to get what you want, please, just try and notice it.
Then there are the people that realize that it's there, but still choose not to take advantage of it. They know what they want is in front of them, but they still choose not to get up and work for it. It's pretty stupid as well.
Maybe it's not exactly what you pictured in your mind, but still, it's there. You just have to look at the big picture instead of one detail that might not be to your complete liking.
Another thing. I hate being pushed to the side. I hate the feeling of not being important enough for someone. I feel like the "back-up friend" sometimes. It's like, I'm here until someone better comes along for you to talk to. I appreciate the people who don't make the feel like that, but the ones who do, jeez. You don't realize how annoying it is. Some people don't get that they even do it at all, and I guess it's my fault for not sharing all my feelings a lot of the time. Maybe if I did, people would understand. But it's hard for me.
ANYWAYS. I'm done with my little rants. Haha.
Peeeeace.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Stay Close, Don't Go
"And don't you see?
I'm not the only one for you,
but you're the only one for me."
So, recently I've been downloading new CDs like crazy. Something I've been meaning to do. I'm glad I've finally gotten around to it. Haha. I've gotten a bunch of good ones. Both Secondhand Serenade albums, Mitchel Musso (no laughing, he's good), Lily Allen (I'm surprised; I like it), This Providence (which I've been meaning to get for a while), and a few more. I loooooove new music.
Today was a good day, I suppose. I took pictures for my older sister. I'm allowed to use her nice camera as long as I help her take pictures when she needs it. I don't mind. I like being the photographer (:
I also read a new book today that I borrowed from my friend yesterday. I finished the whole thing today. It's called Marked. It's the first book in the House Of Night series. More vampire books. Haha. It was good. I want to read the rest of the books.
I'm also pretty annoyed at my little sister today too. Well, scratch that. It isn't just today. It's pretty much every day. She's immature and annoying. She asks to borrow something, she breaks it, then gets upset when my older sister and I won't let her borrow something else because we're afraid she'll break it. My mom tells me to fix the problem by not letting her borrow my things. But later, when my little sister runs to her because my sister or myself is "being mean and not letting her borrow something", my mom thinks we're being rude. NO, we're trying not to repeat history by fixing the problem. But whatever. complain and whine, but where is that going to get me? No where at all. So I put on my big girl pants and move on. I make the best of it even though I'm not getting what I want. I have my moments where I let it get to me, but it's easy to forget about it when I realize Maybe she should grow up and stop acting like a little kid because we don't always get what we want.
Which is true. We don't always get what we want. I know that one first hand. I could I'm happy with what I have.
Summer is going by so fast. I don't really want it to end, but I am kind of excited for being a sophomore. I just don't want to wake up early or have to deal with grades.
Anyways, I guess I'll go now :)
Lata.
I'm not the only one for you,
but you're the only one for me."
So, recently I've been downloading new CDs like crazy. Something I've been meaning to do. I'm glad I've finally gotten around to it. Haha. I've gotten a bunch of good ones. Both Secondhand Serenade albums, Mitchel Musso (no laughing, he's good), Lily Allen (I'm surprised; I like it), This Providence (which I've been meaning to get for a while), and a few more. I loooooove new music.
Today was a good day, I suppose. I took pictures for my older sister. I'm allowed to use her nice camera as long as I help her take pictures when she needs it. I don't mind. I like being the photographer (:
I also read a new book today that I borrowed from my friend yesterday. I finished the whole thing today. It's called Marked. It's the first book in the House Of Night series. More vampire books. Haha. It was good. I want to read the rest of the books.
I'm also pretty annoyed at my little sister today too. Well, scratch that. It isn't just today. It's pretty much every day. She's immature and annoying. She asks to borrow something, she breaks it, then gets upset when my older sister and I won't let her borrow something else because we're afraid she'll break it. My mom tells me to fix the problem by not letting her borrow my things. But later, when my little sister runs to her because my sister or myself is "being mean and not letting her borrow something", my mom thinks we're being rude. NO, we're trying not to repeat history by fixing the problem. But whatever. complain and whine, but where is that going to get me? No where at all. So I put on my big girl pants and move on. I make the best of it even though I'm not getting what I want. I have my moments where I let it get to me, but it's easy to forget about it when I realize Maybe she should grow up and stop acting like a little kid because we don't always get what we want.
Which is true. We don't always get what we want. I know that one first hand. I could I'm happy with what I have.
Summer is going by so fast. I don't really want it to end, but I am kind of excited for being a sophomore. I just don't want to wake up early or have to deal with grades.
Anyways, I guess I'll go now :)
Lata.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Therapy
Today, I can't seem to find a comfy medium. I can't find a place where I feel comfortable. I don't know what it is, but I just feel awkward. Maybe it's just me. I have no idea, but I don't really like it. It's kinda one of those days where I really don't want to talk to my family, but they really don't get the hints.
Maybe the problem is coming from just over-thinking stupid things. But I don't know how to react to stuff sometimes. Sometimes I'm told something so simple, but in my mind, I turn it into something huge. Like, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, when really, it isn't all that bad.
It'll probably be fine again by tonight, but at the moment, I just feel like I've done something wrong, even though I haven't. I just can't help myself.
I just need something to get my mind off things. Haha.
Well, tomorrow is the 4th of July. My family is going to my great aunt's new lake cabin or the day. Hopefully it'll be fun. I'll probably end up just sitting around with my grandma or something.
Maybe the problem is coming from just over-thinking stupid things. But I don't know how to react to stuff sometimes. Sometimes I'm told something so simple, but in my mind, I turn it into something huge. Like, I feel like I'm doing something wrong, when really, it isn't all that bad.
It'll probably be fine again by tonight, but at the moment, I just feel like I've done something wrong, even though I haven't. I just can't help myself.
I just need something to get my mind off things. Haha.
Well, tomorrow is the 4th of July. My family is going to my great aunt's new lake cabin or the day. Hopefully it'll be fun. I'll probably end up just sitting around with my grandma or something.
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