You make me wanna die.

OHmyGOD.

Not that again.
Please... no.


I couldn't handle that again.

You matter very much.

"We hope you know you're not that only one who feels the way you feel. You are not the only one who struggles. You are not the only one with questions. You are not crazy. You deserve to be heard. You deserve love.

You deserve love.

You deserve a place that feels like home. You deserve some hands to hold. Hands to pull you past the broken moments, hands to catch you when you fall. Eyes to see you. To say you're there, that you exist, that you change a room. That your presence is significant. Ears to hear you - hear your stories, hear your laugh. Ears to hear your questions and say they matter.

Your questions matter.

Maybe call a friend today or invite someone to coffee. Tell someone they matter or tell someone you could use a conversation. Write a letter or ask someone how they're doing. Like a song too much. Feels the drums or get lost in the chorus. It means that you're alive.

It's good that you're alive. Who else could play your part?

We hope you get to a place, wake to a day, where that feels true. You deserve to know it's true.

To Write Love on Her Arms is a community of people with questions and struggles. It is for broken people and it is led by broken people. Life is heavy and light. Life is both. Beauty and pain, aches and dreams... We are saying that it's okay to talk about those things. We are saying that we need to. We are choosing to believe that stories deserve better endings. That hope is real, that help is real, that people need other people."


TWLOHA.com

I just held it in.

Sometimes, when you love someone with all of your heart, you'll do anything to keep them happy.

Even if it means never letting them know.

Addicted to me.

You can love, you can lust, you can use me.
All you want.
You can lie, you can trust, you confuse me.

Thinking of you...

He kissed my lips,
I taste your mouth.
He pulled me in,
I was disgusted with myself.

Take a breath and let the rest come easy.

It's like there's a restart button that God keeps pressing.
It's almost ironic.












I need you?

Stand in line like military time. Flowers blooming up from dirt.

"There are always going to be things you wish were different and a list of things you wish you could redo. There is no rewind button in life, so chin up and realize that the universe is giving you exactly what you need. A reason to remember why you cut someone out of your life and a reason to be excited why you let someone else in. A reason you didn't book that job, tour or commercial. A reason why you got caught in every red light, even though you were in a hurry. Please trust that the universe is unfolding as it should.

The beauty of life is cut from the same cloth as the beauty of showbusiness- we never get to see what is waiting next in the wings."

-Keltie Colleen <3




And it’s a sad picture, the final blow hits you
Somebody else gets what you wanted again and
You know it’s all the same, another time and place
Repeating history and you’re getting sick of it
But I believe in whatever you do
And I’ll do anything to see it through

Because these things will change.

I've got no time for feeling sorry.

It's always the same thing. Back to back. You can't be single, but the relationships you in tear you apart. It's a lose/lose situation, huh? It's always like this. Each time.
You tell me you're smarter and learn from your mistakes. Well why do you keep making the same ones over and over?
You feel different about each new person you're with, but I see the same relationship over and over again. It starts out and you're oh so happy. Everything is perfect and they're "soooo adorable!" A little bit into it, you two end up arguing about stupid things.
I've seen this back to back plenty of time to learn how to deal with it. But oh my fucking God. Are you really letting these stupid fights lead you to make dumb decisions? Do you realize what real love is?
It's more than saying "I love you." It's wanting happiness for another person more than your own.
Great, they told you they loved you, but seriously? Can you honestly sit there and tell me that you believe they really love you? If they loved you, would they be constantly hurting you? Would they have you do the things your doing to try and "cope" with your depression?
This isn't right.
You're forgetting what you've been through. You've been through horrible stuff in the past. I've seen it. I've seen you.
It's not something you plan. Love. It's something you just fall into. It's something that's unexpected and unexplainable.
Whether you want it, or not, you've accepted it again.
You can get through this as you've gotten before.
With me by your side.
FOREVER.

Good-night.

In the middle of the night
when everyone's asleep
I sit all alone in my room
and all I can do is think.

I think about you,
and I think about me.
I think about us,
and how we're meant to be.

I think about the past,
and I think the future.
I think about us,
and the ways we've matured.

I think about your happiness,
and sometimes I think about mine.
I think about us,
and what could possibly be on your mind.

I think too much sometimes,
and these thoughts cloud my mind.
They make me hard to understand,
but the thing is, they're mine.

I can think what I want,
whether I should or not.
I'd prefer it if I didn't sometimes,
but I can't make myself stop.

In the middle of the night,
I sit in my room and think.
As the hours pass by me
faster than I can blink.

Sometimes I wonder,
"Where did the time go?"
As the hours move faster
when I'm sitting all alone.

Then I go to bed,
free to dream my thoughts away.
To wake up in the morning,
back to feeling okay.

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.

Is it still me that makes you sweat?
Am I who you think about in bed?
When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress?
Then think of what you did
And how I hope to God he was worth it.
When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin.
I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me
Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of
Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?
No, no, no, you know it will always just be me

Let's get these teen hearts beating. Faster, faster
So testosterone boys and harlequin girls,
Will you dance to this beat, and hold a lover close?

Absent minded, out of focus.

...because you'll never be mine.

You are the only exception.

Maybe I know somewhere
deep in my soul
that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways
to make it alone.
Keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this
keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I had sworn to myself
that I'm content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

The kids are all fucked up.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
STOP TAKING EVERYTHING OUT ON ME.

Good lord.
I can't fix everything the very second you need it.
Stop blowing up when I can't.
I don't do it to intentionally piss you off.
Sometimes I just CAN'T.

Good FUCKING lord.

I'm totally useless to you when I can't give you the world on a silver platter.
But when I can, I'm suddenly really important.

You're mad now, but the second I can get you what you want, I'll be #1 again.

It figures.

It's bound to happen...

I think this is where it starts.


...lovely.

Your shadow

I'll be like your shadow,
and I promise to make you believe,
that I'll follow wherever you may go,
and swear I'll never leave.

No matter the distance or the speed,
I'll always be behind you.
No matter how fast you may be,
it will never be an issue.

On the brightest days,
or in the middle of the night.
My heart will find a way
to make everything seem alright.

Even when I might disappear,
I think you should know,
that I will always be right here, and
I'll be like your shadow.

<3

I've never taken anything from you, so why did you have to go and steal my heart?

Why can't I seem to get the thought of you out of my mind?
It's been like this for... oh... three years? That's quite a long time, if you ask me.
Do you think anyone else could say that about you?
I don't really think so.
For some reason, I can't seem to get the intoxicating scent of you away from my senses.
Something about it pulls me in and makes everything in the world disappear, making me feel like it's only you and me.
Your smile... wow. Your smile. Just the image in my mind makes me all warm and smiley. It radiates beauty and confidence.
Your tears, well they cut me like a knife. Seeing you in pain hurts me more than it should.
The image of me cuddled in your arms at night is almost like heaven to me. I don't think I'd pick anything over that.

What is the reasoning for all of this?
Well, the only thing I could come up with was...
I love you.


I gave you the better part of me.
I hope you enjoy it.

I would follow you anywhere.

"Turn around, bright eyes.
Turn around.
Every now and then I know you'll never be the boy you always wanted to be.
Turn around.
Every now and then I know you'll always be the only boy who wanted me the way that I am.
Turn around.
Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe as magical and wonderous as you.
Turn around.
Every now and then I know there's nothing any better and there's nothing I just wouldn't do.
Turn around, bright eyes.
Every now and then I fall apart."


-From the song 'Total Eclipse Of The Heart' by Bonnie Tyler



Oooooh <3 I love that song (:
Sooo... summer's gotten back down to being the way it normally is. Friends during the day, then alone at night. I thought it was gonna be different, but naw. It's the same. I'm pretty sure all my summers are gonna be the same. Everyone gets all the excitement, and I get to sit around and bask it in. LOVE IT.
Who knows? Maybe it'll change later. Hopefully. 'Cause it's really getting to me.

Summer '10

I can tell this summer is gonna be different than ANY other summer I've ever experienced.

Starting tonight.

Crazy.Night.

40 steps.

Soft light, total silence
So tired to take the table near the door
The table near the door
Set back under fire
Only as stable as I choose to show
If I choose to show
But where were you that night?
When I was...

Well, I feel that this an explosion
Nobody else could ever really know
I would follow you anywhere

You say you don't believe in science
You're always afraid of what you can't control
I would follow you anywhere
But where were you that night?
When I was...

When I was calling for the answer
That you probably shouldn't know
When it feels like flames surrounding me here
When you were calling with your questions
And all I needed was to know
When it feels like flames surrounding me here

Unkempt and over caffeinated
I walked the forty steps to the room
Back to the room

You say you don't believe in science
You're always ashamed of what you're willing to lose
I would follow you anywhere
But where were you that night?
When I was...

When I was calling for the answer
That you probably shouldn't know
When it feels like flames surrounding me here
When you were calling with your questions
And all I needed was to know
When it feels like flames surrounding me here

So this is it
So this is it
So this is the silence
So this is the silence we began
It's never quite
It's never quite over
It's never quite over in the silence

When I was calling for the answer
That you probably shouldn't know
When it feels like flames surrounding me here
When you were calling with your questions
And all I needed was to know
When it feels like flames surrounding me here