Dreamers disease.

Dreams.
Dreams are well... our imagination at it's craziest. Good dreams, great dreams, or nightmares. We've all had them. It's crazy what our minds can come up with.
What I hate is when our minds play cruel tricks on us. They give us such an amazing dream, and in that dream, they give us exactly what we've always wanted. They're just so perfect. But, when you wake up, everything is gone. Sadly, back to normal, where you end up disappointed. It really sucks :/
I had one of those dreams last night. Like, wow. It was great. I was so happy. I had everything I wanted and nothing could change it. But, when I woke up, I was sad that it all went away. I laid in bed when I woke up, and just thought about it. I thought about how good things were. How happy I was. Not that I'm not happy with my life. But I was really happy in my dream. Everything was great (:
The best dreams are the ones that we always seem to wake up too early from. They're never finished. It's disappointing when the alarm wakes us up, and we're back to our normal lives, with a glimpse of something perfect.
Then there are those nightmares. The ones we wish we could wake up from. But for some reason, we just can't. We're stuck in them. They give us views at how bad things could be. How awful, how low, and just terrible our minds can be. It's terrifying sometimes. It's heartbreaking other times. Sometimes we don't know what it is, we just don't like it.
When our imaginations are at work, there's no telling what they will come up with.

Painting flowers.

"When I wake up, the dream isn't done.
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true, what more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you."



<3
Dear, Alexander William Gaskarth.
No song you write is less than amazing.
You're amazingly gorgeous.
You make my heart melt just by singing <3
Iloveyou.

Some hearts

"I've found that only about 1 out of 1,000,000,000,000 girls get the most amazing boy and the other 999,999,999,999 girls get to think they fall in love with him, but they just have to get second best. I've found that one super guy, the guy that tells you how amazing, funny, pretty, and perfect you are but I guess I'm just one of the 999,999,999,999 girls thats just not worth his time. But I can also see why."


-Makenzie Lynne Escagne
(My little sister)<3

Give a damn

Oh my God. Have I royally fucked up once again?
Well, actually... no. This time it's dumb. This time I'm not blaming myself. This time I've realized that there's NO reason for me to be upset with myself.
I didn't do anything BAD. Nothing worth ignoring me. I've understood the last time, but honestly, this time you're just being a ridiculous. You're over-reacting. I don't know what has got into your mind, but you shouldn't ignore someone who is only trying to help.
Don't sit over there and tell yourself I've never done anything for you. Don't say that all this happened because I TRIED to fuck it up. Don't pretend like I did it on purpose. Because I know I didn't do anything. I know you're just being silly.
I've done nothing but help you out. I've gone OUT OF MY WAY to make sure you were happy. I've given things up. I've ignored things. I've put things beside. Basically, I ignored my needs for yours. I got shit, but didn't care. I wouldn't care what I had to go to through as long as you're happy.
But when I do one thing you don't like, you go all crazy psycho bitch on me.
I love you enough to say I'm sorry for doing something wrong. Something not that big.
I hope you're big enough a person to forgive me for something as little as this.




Lets build a bridge and get over it.
Best friends means forever.

My beautiful escape

God. You know those days that are absolutely perfect? The ones you couldn't ask for anything better to have happened? Well, yes. That was today (:
It was absolutely amazing from beginning to end. Nothing less than great. At any point.
Here was by day with a play-by-play (starting last night).

1. Spent the night with my older sister at her dorm. A bunch of her friends came over and we all just partied. It was great (:
2. This morning, we woke up, chilled at the dorm for a bit, then I came home. I took a shower, got some food. Then Tyler picked me up and we went to the park for a while. We took pictures and all sorts of crazyness.
3. We ended up going over to his house, and Dustin came over.
4. We all watched Paranormal Activity, and well yes. I screamed. Hahah :P
5. We hung out in Tyler's room for a while. We took pictures, listened to music, and just had a great time.
6. I just got home to an empty house. Little sister is at her friend's house. Older sister is in Houston. The parents are out of town for the weekend. I have the house all to my self for the night (:

Today was just a really really good day (:
I'm soooo happy.

Life is being good to me<3

Anything but ordinary.

I'm so scared that things are going to start going downhill from here. I only think that because I'm actually happy with the way things are. I'm finally okay with all the shit in my life. I don't want anything or anyone to ruin it. But the thing is, it's really easy to mess something good up.
It only takes one person, one event, the tiniest thing to throw everything off. I'm praying that doesn't happen.

But, one thing I am EXCITED for is March 21st <3 Ahhh (: Never Shout Never, The Cab, Hey Monday, The Summerset, and Every Avenue in Houston. HELL YEAH! I'm buying my tickets tomorrow. I'm sooooo excited. My dad is bringing me, my best friend, my sister, and her friend. It'll be pretty sweet. I'm not gonna lie. I haven't been to a real concert in over a year. I'm dying to go to one. Especially one as epic as Never Shout Never. AND THE CAB + HEY MONDAY. Like, this concert has great bands playing. I'm pretty excited.

You know what... I don't think I need to worry. I think everything is going to be a-okay (:
I just realized that I'm okay. I just have to keep a positive outlook on it. I shouldn't worry. <3

Rewind

I'd like to go back and take a look at my last entry from a few days ago.
I just want to say, that I'm really not depressed or anything. I really am happy. It's just... you know those moments when you just forget everything good you have and focus on the bad? I looked back and saw just... bad bad bad. When I really shouldn't have. I just let out everything I was feeling, but it came out over-exaggerated.
I'm actually happy with my life. I've got my overly amazing friends, and I've got my family. I've got good grades, and I have plans on the weekends. I have people I can talk to about my problems, and I have music to help me express myself. I have life.
Sometimes I forget what I have and focus on the things I don't have. And anytime that happens, I just lose it. When in reality, I have more of the things I want than the things I don't have.
I'm happy (:

I'm not bipolar or anything. I'm just complicated. My mind thinks oddly. I just needed a little time to calm down and to stop blowing things out of proportion. I needed time with my friends, and time to myself.
I needed to think, and come to the realization that we don't get everything we want in life, and no matter how unfair we think it is, we have to remember what God gave us. Because what we don't have will either come in time, or it's not part of our life plan.

Either way, I have what I need, and that's really all I can ask for.